At Least ...

October 26, 2023

‘If you want to model and teach your children empathy, forge a positive outlook, and strengthen their understanding of self and others.’

When my daughter emerged from her 262 days of lockdown during six separate lockdowns in Melbourne, she shared her aversion to two words … ‘at least’.


Our family received a stern lecture on the taboo nature of this sentence starter. From Natalie’s perspective, this phrase diminished empathy – a response she craved. “At least you had a job.” “At least you could exercise for an hour each day.” “At least you could Facetime your family.”


There seemed to be an inexhaustive list of “at least” commentary from well-meaning friends and family (including us), none of whom had any idea what it actually had felt like to be locked down for a period equating to almost nine months.


And, as I became aware of the words, I started to hear them everywhere. “At least it’s only three weeks until the school holidays.” “At least you passed.” “At least you’ve got friends.” Catch those words, they do not, according to popularist author, speaker, and psychologist, Brene Brown, do anything to recognise someone’s feelings and need for empathy.


According to Brown, “empathy fuels connection; sympathy drives disconnection.” When my daughter’s terse lecture to her family was completed, I asked her what might have been a better response – she expressed her yearning for something as uncomplicated as: “That must have been tough.”


Can you see the difference? When we jump in with our well-meaning “at least” sentences, we are judgmental in reaching that understanding – we place a value on the experience, diminishing its impact and presuming an understanding of the lived experience of that person.


Whilst sympathy can be defined as “feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else’s misfortune,” empathy can be described very differently: the “ability to understand and share the feelings of another” (Oxford English Dictionary).


Understanding the feelings of loss and fear associated with elongated lockdowns is quite different from presuming knowledge of the experience – a subtle nuance but an important one.


Language matters. Language is an important mirror of understanding. Language affects the way we see ourselves in relation to others.


I am judicious in the type and frequency of homework that I set my Year 10 English class, always reluctant to set homework just for the sake of it.

But here is some homework for us all. Eliminate some of these phrases from your vocabulary, if you want to model and teach your children empathy, forge a positive outlook, and strengthen their understanding of self and others.


Hit list of delete-worthy phrases

  • At least …
  • I/we should have … They should have …
  • It’s their fault, not mine …
  • If only …


Rather

  • That must have been tough to hear.
  • It would have been good if I had …. however, I didn’t.
  • This is my part of the problem.
  • I am thinking that …


May we all have endured and survived the last of the lockdown world but, like all confronting and difficult situations, there is, (at least) learning to attend to: an idea or even a whisper to note.


Dr Linda Evans | Principal

More News…

By Sarah Richardson November 19, 2025
Fairholme Year 6 student, Eden Broksch, has once again shown her incredible talent and determination, taking out the State Championship title in the Tetrathlon for the second consecutive year. Competing at the Queensland Representative School Sport State Track and Field Championships in Townsville, Eden shone across all four Tetrathlon events: 100m, Long Jump, Shot Put and 800m. The competition, held over two days, began with the 100m and Long Jump. Eden admits the first day didn’t quite go to plan. ‘At the end of the first day, I was in about 12th place,’ she shared. But day two brought a remarkable turnaround. After a strong Shot Put performance, she surged up the leaderboard. ‘After the Shot Put, I moved up to fourth place. I was pretty confident I could place in the top three if I finished with a good run in the 800m,’ she said. What followed was a determined and inspiring final effort. Eden ran her heart out in the 800m — her favourite event and that final burst was enough to secure the overall win. ‘I ran a personal best time in the 800m and ended up winning overall by just a couple of points,’ she explained, smiling. This victory also means Eden will once again don the maroon colours, earning her place on the Queensland team for the second year in a row. ‘It feels so good,’ she said. ‘I love going away with the team, it’s so much fun and one of my best friends is also going too, which makes it really enjoyable to share the experience.’ In the lead-up to nationals, Eden has been training with enormous commitment and energy. ‘I’m running usually five days a week, two throws training sessions, two long jump sessions and I also play touch football,’ she explained. Shot Put and the 800m remain her favourite events, but her love for combined disciplines continues to grow. She’s already looking ahead to the future. ‘I love competing in the combined events. I don’t just have to focus on only one event, I can do multiple. I hope to move from the tetrathlon to the heptathlon when I’m old enough.’ Eden is also a true all-round athlete. This year alone, she has represented Darling Downs in Orienteering and both Queensland and Darling Downs in Cross Country, all while representing Fairholme in touch football, netball and gymnastics as well. Her passion for sport extends beyond competition — she treasures the friendships she has forged along the way. ‘I’ve made lots of great friends through athletics from all over,’ she said. As Eden prepares for the School Sport Australia National Championships in Canberra at the end of the month, her goals are clear. ‘I want to improve on last year’s score and achieve another personal best in the 800m.’ Congratulations, Eden! Fairholme is incredibly proud of your grit, talent and wonderful attitude. We’ll be cheering you on as you take on the national stage once again.
By Sarah Richardson November 19, 2025
We are incredibly proud to celebrate our extraordinary Fairholme Kindy Teacher, Mrs Sonya Nicol, who has been recognised as one of Australia’s most outstanding educators in the National Excellence in Teaching Awards (NEiTA). Sonya was announced as a 2025 NEiTA Apple Award Winner for Primary – one of only two primary educators across Australia and New Zealand to receive this prestigious honour. With more than three decades of teaching experience, Sonya still steps into the Kindy classroom each day with the energy, creativity, and passion of a first-year teacher. NEiTA says 'Sonya’s love for early childhood education is simply unmatched, and the impact she has made on generations of students, families, and colleagues is extraordinary,' and we couldn’t agree more. ‘I’m still in a state of disbelief and shock, however, I am humbled and honoured to receive a National Excellence in Teaching Award,’ Sonya said. ‘There are so many brilliant teachers out there doing an amazing job. It’s absolutely wonderful to be recognised. ‘For me, teaching is not a thankless profession. I have the opportunity to watch children progress, change, and develop as they progress through Fairholme.’ NEiTA Foundation Chairperson Catherine O’Sullivan said educators like Sonya illustrate the power of exceptional teaching. ‘Sonya is a talented, passionate, and a life-changing force in education,’ Catherine said. ‘As an extraordinary teacher, Sonya is leaving a lasting mark on the lives of countless students. ‘The Fairholme College community is strengthened, courtesy of Sonya’s ability to motivate, educate, and inspire the next generation of young minds. Sonya’s achievement is not only a celebration of her remarkable career, but also a reflection of the heart, dedication, and excellence she brings to Fairholme each and every day. We are immensely grateful for the joy and inspiration she shares with our youngest learners, and we couldn’t be prouder to see her talent recognised on a national stage. Congratulations, Sonya, this honour is so richly deserved.
By Sarah Richardson October 31, 2025
Our Year 12 Visual Artists achieved outstanding success in the 2025 Creative Generation Excellence Awards and were recognised at the Official Opening of the DDSWQ Regional Exhibition. Congratulations to the girls on their outstanding achievements: > Certificate of Excellence Award – Bron Francis, ‘Choose your path’. Bron’s work will be exhibited at QAGOMA in 2026 as part of the State’s Central Exhibition – an incredible honour! > Regional Encouragement Award – Amelia Bryant-Peterson, ‘Perspectivae Culturales de Morte’ (cultural perspectives about death) > Certificate of Commendation Award – Indianna Hitchcock, ‘Omnia ad Initium Redeunt’ (Everything Returns to the Beginning) > Certificate of Participation Award – Yas Lethbridge, ‘Perceived Façades, Assumed Expectations and Underlying Realities’ This year, from almost 500 submissions across 168 schools in Queensland, only 150 works were shortlisted, with just 40 Excellence winners (including 2 from the DDSWQ region) and 8 Regional Encouragement awardees.  The DDSWQ Regional Exhibition is on display at the Toowoomba Regional Art Gallery until 16 November – we encourage you to visit and view these inspiring works.
All News