Oh to be perfect ...

August 6, 2023

'I am not a perfectionist, but I like to feel that things are done well.' Cristiano Ronaldo


Most of us do not need to dip too deeply into our childhood memories to draw on the nubs of wisdom and truisms passed on in conversations – formal and informal. “Practice makes perfect,” is but one. It continues to be a mantra that we casually share with our children and with students – and, implicit within, are two problematic ideas.


The first being that practice does not lead to perfection, if ever, because the notion of ‘perfection’ in any setting, is riddled with the potential for an elevated level of ‘stress sensitivity.’


The second problem is that whilst we often laud perfectionism as a worthy skill, share it proudly in job interviews and other settings, yet it can be a curse and a precursor to a mindset that takes us to places of shame, blame and deep dissatisfaction.


Practice itself when undertaken with commitment can elicit perseverance, aid retention and, at best, practice can give a skill or a learning, ‘permanence’ (Garth Mole, 2023).


The best tangible gift I ever received as a child was a Netball goal – it was for my ninth birthday (yes, a long time ago). Yet, I still remember watching intently as Dad attached it to a timber pole, meticulously measuring the accuracy of height and placing it in the depths of a neatly dug hole on a flat piece of lawn, adjacent to our clothesline.


They say that perfection is merely 10,000 hours of practice away. I think I must have surpassed that time frame – the quest for perfection was a strong drive – as well as an impossible one. Quite honestly, I was OK with that – the thrill of improvement, the hope of achieving one hundred out of one hundred drove me on, to achieve whatever goal I set myself on any given day – even though the outcomes were always different between one afternoon and the next. It kept me busy. It kept me focused. It led to accuracy - but never perfectionism.


If you do not practice you will never achieve perfection. True. If you do practice you will never achieve perfection. True. In a world where perfection is an airbrush away, can be manufactured through technological intervention or artificially constructed, we do need to hold proudly to the reality of our flaws, the learning lessons of perseverance and our ability to fall short of expectation, pick ourselves up, and have another shot – literally or metaphorically: because that is the pattern of life.


Researchers continue to contest the nature versus nurture argument, their dichotomous views place them on a continuum where genetics and

effort are poised at either end.


Anders Ericsson in his combined studies with Charness in 1994, argued that intentional and appropriately structured practice leads to ‘perfect’ performance outcomes, outcomes that some researchers had previously attributed to genetics or innate ability.


Their adage that practice makes perfect is contested avidly by other researchers. However, the dangerous downside of perfectionism, as discussed by Ruggeri, 2018, is much more difficult to contest. Ruggeri cites a meta-analysis undertaken by Thomas Curran and Andrew Hill comparing perfectionism across generations from 1989 to 2016 in the US, UK, and Canada.


Their study found significant increases among the most recent undergraduates. Further, Katie Rasmussen, who researches child development and perfectionism at West Virginia University, states that “as many as two in five kids and adolescents are perfectionists,” (cited in Ruggeri,

2018).


Consider the snapchat world of adolescents and their drive to compare, to rate their accomplishments and insta moments against others, and this statistic should not surprise us. So, what do we do about that? Put goal posts in our backyard, take care with the truisms (that may indeed not be true at all) that fall carelessly from our lips or continue to laud that which is perfect?


One needs only to look at a recent Fairholme post which shows our Fairholme cross country runners competing at the state titles to capture how committed practice develops permanence of skill, it nurtures perseverance and the healthy will to improve.


In the literal mud through which they ran, each competitor learned more about the joy of competition – against self and others, the scope and possibilities for their next run and how to manage disappointment when the high bar of expectation is not reached. I trust that each runner had a ‘Cristiano Ronaldo moment,’ where they felt they had done well: and they did, exceptionally so.


Hours of practice led them to run with strength and will and drive – exceptional skills that translate to so many other corners of living.


The Japanese ‘wabi-sabi’ notion of finding beauty in imperfection is worth consideration, it’s worth juxtaposing against the constructed on-line world: fabricated for impact and a hot bed for the development of an unhealthy sense of self.


Practice should not be used as a tool for perfectionism. Practice, at its core, should be about focus, grit and hard work. At best, it is a rehearsal, a means by which permanence of skill or understanding develops and its full value exists when that rehearsal is enjoyable, challenging and innately driven.


My parents would attest to my Netball goal post as one of their wisest fiscal investments in me; it was tangible evidence that practice, in the

seeking of excellence, is an active concept, never an endpoint. Practice and perfectionism are disparate terms, despite the commonality of their pairing.


Practice for permanence of skill acquisition is a much more apt phrase. Learning from what we don’t do well, often provides the greatest learning

of all. Wabi-sabi, however, is the ultimate concept. Imagine if we could all find and celebrate the beauty of flaws and embrace a place or state of being where practice never creates nor seeks perfection and where stress sensitivity does not exist.


As I consider the benefits of embracing mistakes, flaws and imperfections, I am led to yet another childhood truism … ‘we learn through our mistakes’, but therein is another conundrum, for another time …




Dr Linda Evans | Principal



REFERENCES


Ericsson, K. A., & Charness, N. (1994). Expert performance: Its structure and acquisition »


Konnikova, M. (2016). Practice doesn’t make Perfect »


Ruggeri, A. (2018). The dangerous downsides of perfectionism »

More News…

Making Campdraft History

By Sarah Richardson • October 7, 2025
Fairholme's Campdraft team made history over the Spring holidays as the first all girls' school to ever take out the win! Ten Fairholme girls, captained by Abbey Gordon and Charlotte Mailler, competed in the Ariat High School Campdraft Percentile Cup, earning the top team spot with an impressive average of 87 points. With 39 schools represented in the Pittsworth event and more than 500 first-round runs, this was no small feat by the team. Each girl rode beautifully, showing true skill, teamwork, and sportsmanship. There were so many comments about what a classy victory it was.

Fairholme Netball Shoots and Scores in 2025

By Sarah Richardson • September 26, 2025
With 29 teams and more than 300 girls stepping onto the court this year, Fairholme’s netball program has enjoyed a hugely successful 2025 season. From the very first pass to the final whistle of the season, Fairholme was a dominant force in the Saturday Association competition. Seven teams earned their place in the Grand Finals, with five of them claiming the titles: > Cadet Intermediate A Champions – Junior Vicki Wilson 1 > Cadet C Champions – Fairholme Cadet White > Cadet Intermediate D Champions – Fairholme Junior Development > 13B Champions – Fairholme 13 Navy > 12B Champions – Fairholme 12 Gold Adding to this impressive tally, we celebrated two runner-up finishes with 13 Gold in the 13A division and 11 Gold in the 11B division. The success didn’t stop there. On Wednesday nights, all four Fairholme teams powered through to the Semi Finals, with three advancing to the Grand Finals. > Division 1 Champions – Senior Vicki Wilson 1 > Division 2 Runner-Ups – Senior Vicki Wilson 2 > Division 3 Champions – Junior Vicki Wilson 1 And at the Darling Downs Vicki Wilson Carnival, Fairholme once again stood tall. Both our Senior and Junior Vicki Wilson 1 teams qualified for the prestigious State Finals – one of only two schools in the region to do so. Against 24 of Queensland’s top school netball teams, our girls shone with our Junior Vicki Wilson 1 team finishing an incredible fourth, and the Seniors going undefeated through the pool rounds before finishing sixth overall. Our youngest athletes also made their mark. At the Andrews Cup Primary School Netball Carnival, the Senior A team were crowned A Division champions, showing that the future of Fairholme netball is just as exciting as the present. Of course, none of this would have been possible without the many people who support Fairholme Netball behind the scenes. This year, 21 of our own students took on the important role of umpiring across the season. Reflecting on the season, our Fairholme Netball Co-ordinator, Lis Irwin shared, ‘To see so many of our girls not only reaching finals, but also competing and succeeding at state level, is a testament to their hard work and love of the game. We’re so proud of every player, coach, and supporter who has helped make 2025 such a great year for Fairholme Netball.’ With so much talent rising through the ranks, Fairholme’s netball future looks brighter than ever.

Relational Pedagogy: The Heart of School Culture, Learning and Wellbeing

By Sarah Richardson • September 26, 2025
On Friday 9 September, our Head of Teaching and Learning, Pam Stains, and our Head of Faith and Wellbeing, Cath Butler, were invited to present a session at the International Coalition of Girls’ Schools Symposium highlighting an important element of the Fairholme culture: Relational Pedagogy. At Fairholme, we believe that learning begins with relationship. That when a girl feels safe, seen, and supported, she is far more likely to flourish - not just academically, but emotionally and socially too. This belief isn’t just a nice idea; it’s a lived reality, reflected in the feedback from staff and students collected through interviews and surveys conducted by Professor Andrew Hickey from UniSQ in 2024. We’ve long worked in the “with” quadrant of Ted Wachtel’s social discipline window - doing things with students, not to or for them. However, a few years ago, we noticed something. While our restorative approach was helping resolve conflict, it often came too late. Teachers were feeling stretched, and students - especially in moments of challenge - needed more than resolution. They needed connection and they needed skills. This aligned with research supporting the idea that our students have varying levels of skill in demonstrating empathy or engaging with others using social and emotional intelligence, and therefore have varying ability or desire to resolve conflict restoratively. It’s not a will problem, this is a skill problem. So we asked ourselves: what could help staff to enhance the skill level of students struggling to meet expectations, whilst still strengthening connection and building relationships? That question led us to Dr Ross Greene’s Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS). CPS is a gentle, trauma-aware approach that sees behaviour not as defiance, but as communication. A child who struggles isn’t choosing to misbehave, they’re lacking the skills to meet expectations and communicating this in a variety of ways, using behaviour that will either frustrate us or engender empathy. And so, instead of reacting, we slow down. We listen. We work with them to understand what’s hard, to build the skills they need, and see the change. To strengthen this approach in the college, in 2025, twelve staff members joined a CPS pilot program. These staff were offered professional learning time to train, reflected, and practise and what they found was remarkable. Relationships deepened, classrooms became calmer, students began to take ownership - not just of their behaviour, but of their learning. Teachers felt more regulated, more connected, and more hopeful. Instead of asking what’s wrong, in this approach, we seek to ask: what’s hard? What skills might be lagging? What expectations are difficult to meet? It’s a small shift, but it’s changing the way we see our girls, and the way they see themselves. Students are not problems. Rather, we collaborate, and become problem solvers together. Of course, it’s not always easy. CPS takes time. It asks us to stay curious longer, to resist the urge to fix, and to trust the process. But the rewards are real. From 2026, our staff training will evolve to include both Restorative Practices and CPS—under the banner of Relational Pedagogy. Because at Fairholme, we’re not just teaching content, we’re building skills now and into the future. And, we’re doing it together, with collaboration, and enjoyment.
All News